Review: The Unicorn Crisis

Title: The Unicorn Crisis
Author: Jon Rosenberg
Nationality: British
Year: 2011
Publisher: Self-published
Length: 200+pp
Rating: 8/10
Summary: Brilliant debut fantasy

The outline

A light-hearted fantasy novel which follows ‘summoner’ David Ash as he tries to uncover who transported a deadly unicorn into modern-day Stratford-upon-Avon.

Sample

The Unicorn was going to be trouble. Just looking at it I could feel the world thinning around us. Worse still, one wrong move and the bloody thing would kill me.
"Okay," I murmured to myself. "What's the best counter to a Unicorn?"
"A virgin's always good."

The verdict

One thing is clear from reading The Unicorn Crisis – Jon Rosenberg has a powerful imagination. In this novel he has created a fully realised alternate reality, occupied by elves with an addiction to daytime TV, angry Hindu deities and a long-lived and magically talented version of Christina Rossetti.

The result is gripping and at times I didn’t want to put the novel down. Jon Rosenberg has a particular and rare talent for dialogue and can run a page of rapid fire speech without the reader losing track of who said what. On the downside, some of early sections dragged in pace a little, but this seemed to be largely down to scene setting and was made up for by absolutely brilliant final third with a final battle that reminded me of the Sword in the Stone.

I would definitely recommend this novel, particularly to fans of Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman or Doctor Who (and wouldn’t David Tennant make a great Ash?). I bought the sequel, The Digital Wolf, as soon as I had finished the last page.

Review: The Third Policeman

Title: The Third Policeman
Author: Flann O’Brien
Nationality: Irish
Year: 1940
Publisher: Harper Perennial Modern Classics
Length: 200+pp
Rating: 10/10
Summary: On your bike...

The outline

Delightful weirdness characterises this surreal early post-modern novel with a fixation about bicycles.

Sample

If a man stands before a mirror and sees in it his reflection, what he sees is not a true reproduction of himself but a picture of himself when he was a younger man. De Selby’s explanation of this phenomenon is quite simple. Light, as he points out truly enough, has an ascertained and finite rate of travel. Hence before the reflection of any object in a mirror can be said to be accomplished, it is necessary that rays of light should first strike the object and subsequently impinge on the glass, to be thrown back again to the object-to the eyes of a man, for instance. There is therefore an appreciable and calculable interval of time between the throwing by a man of a glance at his own face in a mirror and the registration of the reflected image in his eye. So far, one may say, so good.

The verdict

The Third Policeman is a far from easy novel to describe. I could relate the basics of the plot – murderous Irishman comes across a rural police station where the officers have an obsession with bicycles – but that’s really not the point. It’s funny, its surreal, its clever... but then so are lots of novels. There’s just something special about The Third Policeman that makes it far more than the sum of its parts.

It’s a novel which should appeal to fans of Kurt Vonnegut, Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams and Laurence Sterne. At times it’s a bit like The Trial, rewritten by James Joyce as a Monty Python sketch.

Put simply, The Third Policeman is utterly brilliant. And I’m not going to spoil it by revealing any more.

Review: I, Lucifer

Title: I, Lucifer
Author: Glen Duncan
Nationality: British
Year: 2003
Publisher: Scribner
Length: 200+pp
Rating: 6/10
Summary: Not bad enough to be good

The outline

God gives Lucifer a chance at redemption, but the Devil must spend a month in human form in contemporary London to get his ticket back to Heaven.

Sample

I, Lucifer, Fallen Angel, Prince of Darkness, Bringer of Light, Ruler of Hell, Lord of the Flies, Father of Lies, Apostate Supreme, Tempter of Mankind, Old Serpent, Prince of This World, Seducer, Accuser, Tormentor, Blasphemer, and without doubt Best Fuck in the Seen and Unseen Universe (ask Eve, that minx) have decided - oo-lala! - to tell all. All? Some.

The verdict

I, Lucifer is an entertaining novel, undoubtedly, and Glen Duncan is a talented writer, but it’s also a novel saddled with a major flaw that stops it from fulfilling its potential.

The problem is Lucifer himself. He simply isn’t bad enough to be a convincing Devil and his exploits on earth are somewhat adolescent. He has sex; he takes drugs; he eggs people on; he plots much worse things but never carries them out. This might have worked if the book was about a minor demon, but Lucifer himself...?

Duncan’s Lucifer is on a par with an annoying rock star rather than the nastiest villains of literature. Think Patrick Bateman, think Hannibal Lecter, think Clockwork Orange’s Alex – he doesn’t even come close. At best – or worst – he’s like a cruder version of Lestat at his most needy and irritating... but lacking the bite. Duncan tries to make him witty and intellectual, but if you know as little as a spattering about poetry, the Bible and Christian history his comments aren’t going to tax you. He’s Humbert Humbert lite, which is a shame because a self-justifying Humbert-inspired Devil would have been a really good proposition.

Still the novel kept me reading, it was just a shame that it missed out on much bigger and better things.

Review: Severin’s Journey into the Dark

Title:  Severin’s Journey into the Dark
Author: Paul Leppin
Nationality: Czech
Year: 1914
Publisher: Twisted Spoon Press
Length: 100+pp
Rating: 5/10
Summary: Doesn’t reach its destination

The outline

This gothic novella explores the dark side of decadent turn-of-the-century Prague.

Sample

Death. Something in the rasping sound of the word seemed more exciting, richer in associations than all the sleepy utterances of a sheltered life. A small and perverse envy crept along the surface of his soul and left cloudy, lingering blisters. An envy for Nikolaus, who played with the opal ring on his finger with serene hands and discussed books and journals while it was possible that the carpet beneath his feet still retained the dried blood of the man who had died on it.

The verdict

I thoroughly enjoyed the first part of Severin’s Journey into the Dark. The start of this two-part gothic novella is dark, sinister and disturbing, with an impending sense of doom as the eponymous antihero, Severin, spirals downwards into his own hell. The conclusion of part one hinted at great things to come.

The problem was the part two simply didn’t live up to that promise. Several plot lines were never fully developed, opportunities were missed and the drama of  part one’s finale just fizzled out. After Severin had journeyed so far in part one, the start of part two brought him back close to the start of his travels and he never again got quite so deeply into the dark mysterious world around him as he did in part one.

Review: Twenty Tiny Tales

Title: Twenty Tiny Tales
Author: Willie Wit
Nationality: British
Year: 2011
Publisher: Willie Wit
Length: 467 locations (Kindle only)
Rating: 8/10
Summary: Wonderful Wit!

The outline

Twenty witty and thought-provoking very short stories with a twist.

Sample

The atmosphere, and mood in the temple was as it should be, calm and serene. A group of men clad in drab colours are spread across the main area, kneeling, intense with concentration. Sweat forms on brows, muscles flexing as great changes are taking place within. This daily ritual had been carried out over months and years.

The verdict

I first came across Willie Wit’s short stories on the Amazon Kindle forum and was instantly hooked. Each one of these twenty examples of flash fiction, or very-short-stories if you prefer, is a fine example of the genre. Every story in this collection has a unique and clever twist and guessing what it will be is usually impossible.

The range of stories here is particularly impressive. Most will make you laugh, but there are a couple of poignant ones in there, such as Keep Moving, which will leave you with something to think about. My particularly favourites were the Overtime series and Siddartha, which I thought had the most unpredictable twist of the lot.

As the title suggestions, this collection is very short, but each story is a real gem and the creative force behind each one is clearly apparent. A highly recommended read.

Review: Bluebeard

Title: Bluebeard
Author: Charles Perrault/Angela Carter
Nationality: French/British
Year: 1697/1977
Publisher: Penguin Mini Modern Classics
Length: 80 pages
Rating: 9/10
Summary: Perrault, not Carter, but magical all the same

The outline

Five of Charles Perrault’s best fairy tales, translated by Angela Carter and bundled for Penguin’s Mini Modern Classics series.

Sample

Curiosity is a charming passion but may only be satisfied at the price of a thousand regrets; one sees around one a thousand examples of this sad truth every day. Curiosity is the most fleeting of pleasures; the moment it is satisfied, it ceases to exist and it always proves very, very expensive.

The verdict

The title of this book is extremely misleading. This is not Angela Carter’s Bluebeard at all, but rather Carter’s translation of Charles Perrault’s Bluebeard and some other fairytales. It’s a bit naughty of Penguin not to make this clear in the blurb, where the tales are described as “playful and subversive retellings”, rather than making it clear that they’re actually fairly faithful translations. I suppose it was the only way for them to include Carter in their Mini Modern Classics series, as most of her work (including her own set of fairy tales, The Bloody Chamber) is published by Vintage or Virago.

But leaving the fact that this is actually Perrault and not Carter aside, this is a little gem of a book and the fact that Carter kept close to his original works is a bonus. Most versions of Perrault’s tales are all too familiar, but Carter’s translation perfectly captures the satire, wit and elegance you would expect from a 17th century lawyer at the French court.

So it’s one star for Penguin’s marketing tactics, but five for Perrault’s original tales. Readers expecting Carter’s darker, modern retellings will be disappointed, but Perrault’s originals offer a surprisingly fresh outlook on all too familiar tales.

Review: The Phoenix Man

Title: The Phoenix Man
Author: Gary Kilworth
Nationality: British
Year: 2011
Publisher: Infinity Plus
Length: 100+pp
Rating: 4/10
Summary: Falls far short of the hype

The outline

Thirteen speculative fiction short stories from an author described by New Scientist as “the best short story writer in any genre”.

Sample

All would agree that history would have followed a different course if an unknown Galilean had not learned the art of walking on water. Not only did this remarkable man teach himself this now common skill, he was willing to pass it on to others. Just as the first firemaker handed the secret of the flame to his neighbour, thus did this early philosopher generously reveal the secret of his discovery to some fishermen on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. His name has been lost to us, but his talent is now universal. There are few of our children beyond the age of six or seven years who cannot now tread the waves. 

The verdict

I’m not sure what New Scientist was thinking when it described Gary Kilworth as “the best short story writer in any genre”. On the evidence of The Phoenix Man, that certainly isn’t the case.

Undoubtedly the ideas behind Kilworth’s stories are good – better than good in some cases – but they just don’t follow through. Countless times I began one of the stories in The Phoenix Man and was dazzled by the concept in the first few paragraphs only for the plot to peter out and the writing fail to live up to the initial idea.

12 Men Born of Woman bucked the trend and delivered a strong plot to match its idea and I also enjoyed On The Eyelids of a Wolf, but the rest simply left me frustrated with their unfulfilled promise. I certainly won’t be following fiction recommendations from New Scientist in future.

Review: The Wee Free Men

Title: The Wee Free Men
Author: Terry Pratchett
Nationality: British
Year: 2003
Publisher: Corgi
Length: 200+ pages
Rating: 8.5/10
Summary: A great addition to Discworld

The outline

Tiffany Aching is a far-from-ordinary nine year old and when her younger brother goes missing she must learn to be a witch to rescue him. As the second Discworld book for children and the first of four about Tiffany, it’s inevitably a far cry from Harry Potter or the Worst Witch.

Sample

‘You’d better tell me what you know, toad,’ said Tiffany. ‘Miss Tick isn’t here. I am.’ 
‘Another world is colliding with this one,’ said the toad. ‘There. Happy now? That’s what Miss Tick thinks. But it’s happening faster than she expected. All the monsters are coming back.’ 
‘Why?’ 
‘There’s no one to stop them.’ 
There was silence for a moment. 
‘There’s me,’ said Tiffany.

The verdict

Although I’ve read most of the Discworld books, until now I never got around to reading the Tiffany Aching series. I think it was down to a combination of factors: they’re children’s books, they’re focussed on new characters and The Wee Free Men is the only Discworld book where Death doesn’t appear, so it couldn’t be real Discworld, could it? However, after reading some very positive reviews for the fourth and final Tiffany Aching book, I Shall Wear Midnight, I decided to give the first of the series a go. I’m certainly glad I did.

It’s not quite the normal Discworld (the whole story is told from one character’s viewpoint - with chapters! - and many of the familiar motifs are missing) but that doesn’t mean it’s no good. Tiffany is an instantly likeable protagonist, a tough female character in the spirit of Granny Weatherwax. The Wee Free Men is witty, imaginative, creepy and made me laugh out loud on several occasions. It stands up in comparison to best of the Discworld novels and is a wonderful addition to the series.

Review: If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller

Title: If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller
Author: Italo Calvino
Nationality: Italian
Year: 1979
Publisher: Vintage Classics
Length: 200+ pages
Rating: 7/10
Summary: Books That Are Not Quite As Good As They Should Be

The outline

Italo Calvino’s most famous work uses all the tricks of post-modernism to create a rare novel written in the second person, which consists mostly of the opening chapters of other novels.

Sample

Following this visual trail, you have forced your way through the shop past the thick barricade of Books You Haven’t Read, which were frowning at you from the tables and shelves, trying to cow you. But you know you must never allow yourself to be awed, that among them there extend for acres and acres the Books You Needn’t Read, the Books Made For Purposes Other Than Reading, Books Read Even Before You Open Them Since They Belong To The Category Of Books Read Before Being Written. 
And thus you pass the outer girdle of ramparts, but then you are attacked by the infantry of the Books That If You Had More Than One Life You Would Certainly Also Read But Unfortunately Your Days Are Numbered. 

The verdict

There are great ideas at the centre of If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller. Italo Calvino’s most famous work is a cornerstone of post-modernism, a rare novel written in the second person which consists mostly of the opening chapters of other novels. It’s clever, it’s quotable and it’s definitely original.

Unfortunately while some of the novel sizzled with genius, some of it was just tedious. Some of the novel openings were electric and I would have loved to read on, but other parts were turgid. It’s also a novel that feels dated and must even have done so when it was first published in 1979 – stylistically it’s much more similar to authors such as Brecht and Beckett than other books of the same era such as early Ian McEwan and Salman Rushdie.

Another problem with the novel, which is no fault of Calvino’s, is the translation by William Weaver which I found to be clumsy in places. An excess of commas and clauses in unusual places made it frequently obvious that I was reading a book that hadn’t been originally written in English.

However, I did enjoy reading the novel and found Calvino’s imagination impressive which is what saved it from a lower score. But ultimately, although we’re taught to think the original should be the best, If on a Winter’s Night was nowhere near as good as its literary descendant Cloud Atlas or Calvino’s own Invisible Cities.

Review: The Mall

Title: The Mall
Author: SL Grey
Nationality: South African
Year: 2010
Publisher: Corvus
Length: 300+ pages
Rating: 10/10
Summary: Buy it now

The outline

Disfigured junkie Rhoda holds mall-worker Dan at knifepoint so that he can help her look for her missing babysitting charge. But as they get deeper into the shopping centre’s network of service tunnels it quickly becomes clear that jobsworth security guards far from the biggest thing they have to worry about.

Sample

We've stumbled upon some kind of hideous, bloodless massacre. Naked female bodies are piled across the narrow passageway in front of us. There are so many limbs and torsos and hairless heads that it's difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins. Several severed body parts are scattered carelessly around the heap: there's a leg just half a metre away from us, and a hand seems to be pointing back the way we came, warning us to come no further. The bodies are stacked so randomly that they could have been vomited out of the ceiling, but this corridor's roof is sealed with water-stained ceiling board, and there are no doors or apertures in its walls.
'What the hell are they doing here?' I say.
Dan doesn't answer, but he must be thinking the same thing as me. Someone brought them here deliberately.
Far as I know we could be miles away from the mall. Not that I can imagine these particular mannequins being used by Truworths or any of the other chain fashion shops.

The verdict

Books as good as The Mall don’t come along very often. It certainly surprising that a book that at first glance appears to be firmly in the horror genre is actually one of the most inventive and refreshing novels of recent years.

The Mall’s strength lies in the fact that like all great novels it can be read on a number of different levels. On the face of it, it’s a modern homage to the great 1970s horror movies, part Dawn of the Dead, part  Westworld, part Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But it’s also an insightful character study on the moral disintegration of a middle-class teenager. Go deeper still and you’ll find a witty satire about modern life, consumerism, body image, identity and social alienation.

The star of the novel is Rhoda, the ultimate anti-heroine. Who better to take on the horrors of consumerism and the fashion world than a tough, scarred, flat-chested drug addict who gets mistaken for a man on page one? Rhoda lights up the page and is far more fun than emo-kid Dan, who narrates alternate chapters with her.

The Mall is a novel that leaves you wanting more and wishing when you reach the end that there’s another chapter and not just the acknowledgements on the last page.

Review: Dead Until Dark

Title: Dead Until Dark
Author: Charlaine Harris
Nationality: American
Year: 2001
Publisher: Gollancz
Length: 300+ pages
Rating: 6/10
Summary: Lacks bite

The outline

The first in the highly successful True Blood series, Dead Until Dark charts the early adventures of telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse and the Deep South vampire Bill Compton.

Sample

Anyway, his lips were lovely, sharply sculpted, and he had arched dark brows. His nose swooped down right out of that arch, like a prince's in a Byzantine mosaic. When he finally looked up, I saw his eyes were even darker than his hair, and the whites were incredibly white.
'What can I get you?' I asked, happy almost beyond words.
He raised his eyebrows. 'Do you have the bottled synthetic blood?' he asked.
'No, I'm so sorry! Sam's got some on order. Should be in next week.'
'Then red wine, please,' he said, and his voice was cool and clear, like a stream over smooth stones. I laughed out loud. It was too perfect.

The verdict

Until reading Dead Until Dark I had missed out on the current vampire craze. But having enjoyed Interview With the Vampire in my teens I decided to give it a try and Dead Until Dark seemed like a good place to start. I was disappointed.

The flaws with the novel are numerous. The plot holes are plentiful, the pacing erratic and the mid section of the book is dominated by one bad sex scene after another. You can spot who the murderer is the moment he saunters onto the page and the vampire love interest Bill Compton is so bland that Sookie Stackhouse can happily take him home to meet her grandmother.

So why didn’t I score it even lower? There’s something curiously addictive about Dead Until Dark that keeps the reader turning the page. Charlaine Harris’s ideas are good, even if the execution is shaky and there are some genuinely funny and exciting moments.

The main problem with the novel is that it doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be. With its theme of vampires ‘coming out of the coffin’ in small town Louisiana it would have made a great satire, but it just takes itself too seriously. On the flip side, it could also have been a dark and sexy vampire classic, but it just isn’t edgy enough.

I won’t be rushing out to buy the next in the series, but I saw glimpses of why the books are so popular.

Review: The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet

Title: The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet
Author: David Mitchell
Nationality: British
Year: 2010
Publisher: Sceptre
Length: 500+ pages
Rating: 7/10
Summary: Good but not great

The outline

It’s 1799 and Japan is closed to the world apart from the Dutch trading island of Dejima. Jacob de Zoet arrives on the island seeking his fortune in what unfolds as an epic tale of love, betrayal and Machiavellian politics.

Sample

Jacob breaks off a half-dozen young springs. 'Here you are.' For a priceless coin of time, their hands are linked by a few inches of bitter herb, witnessed by a dozen blood-orange sunflowers. 
I don't want a purchased courtesan, he thinks. I wish to earn you.
'Thank you.' She smells the herb. '"Rosemary" has meaning?'
Jacob blesses his foul-breathed martinet of a Latin master in Middelburg. 'Its Latin name is Ros marinus, wherein "Ros" is "dew" - do you know the word "dew"?'
She frowns, shakes her head a little and her parasol spins, slowly.
'Dew is water found early in the morning before the sun burns it away.'

The verdict

The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet is a patchy novel, shifting between the tedious and the inspired. I’m not surprised to see that several readers gave up during the first third of the book as this is by far the weakest part. It’s little more than a series of anecdotes and overwrought scene setting and you need some patience to get through it.

However, the book really picks up in the middle section, when Aibagawa Orito takes over from Jacob as the central character, and the ending is also strong. The problem is by the time you reach it there’s just been too much meandering and you can’t help but feel that Orito would have been a far more interesting character to focus on than Jacob.

The novel is almost like a draft of a much better book that needed a thorough revision by the author before reaching the shelves. It didn’t stay with me and a couple of weeks after finishing it, it certainly hasn’t stuck in my mind.

Should it have made the Booker shortlist? It’s a better novel than some that did, but it certainly isn’t the classic that Cloud Atlas was. It’s a good read about the era, but ultimately I much preferred Alessandro Baricco’s magical Silk on a similar subject.

Review: Lolita

Title: Lolita
Author: Vladimir Nabokov
Nationality: Russian
Year: 1955
Publisher: Odyssey Editions
Length: 300+ pages
Rating: 9/10
Summary: The inner workings of the criminal mind

The outline

One of a rare group of books in world literature which is famous (or infamous) enough to need no introduction.

Sample

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee Ta.
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.

The verdict

Everyone knows that Lolita takes the reader inside the mind of a paedophile, the psyche of a criminal who kidnaps a young girl and takes her on a debauched road trip across the United States. But the novel itself is about so much more than that.

Humbert Humbert’s witty and lyrical, yet snobbish and evasive, narrative forces the reader to reconsider the nature of evil. Humbert is both likeable and monstrous creating a more complex and probably more realistic portrait of a depraved mind than you will find in most works of fiction. This is a difficult book, not only in terms of content but also in style. Humbert’s intellectual flourishes give a crucial insight into his character, but there will be few readers who can pick up on more than a fraction of his cross-references, puns, in-jokes and verbal gymnastics.

Humbert is the archetypal unreliable narrator and the reader is never sure when he is lying, deluding himself or succumbing to the madness that has plagued him for most of his life. This is most crucial in the depiction of Lolita, a poor Dolly who we only ever see through Humbert’s eyes and who never gets to speak for herself. Readers are left to decide for themselves how much Humbert says about her is true. This is not a love story as some people have claimed. This is a story about possession.

The subject matter means that Lolita is not a book for the squeamish or easily offended reader, or anyone who will take Humbert’s narration at face value. But for the more mature reader who can cope with the incongruity between Humbert’s wit and his crimes it is an undoubted classic.

Review: Replica

Title: Replica
Author: Lexi Revellian
Nationality: British
Year: 2011
Publisher: Hoxton Press
Length: 200+ pages
Rating: 8/10
Summary: Lexi Revellian does it again

The outline

Unassertive secretary Beth is persuaded to become a guinea pig in an experiment at the government lab where she works. But when things go wrong and she is accidentally duplicated, both Beths find that their lives are in danger.

Sample

"I'm not going to do it, Professor." She picked up her handbag.
He saw she meant what she said, and the spark seemed to go out of him; he sighed deeply. With a visible effort, he squared his shoulders, smiled and patted her arm. "Quite understood, Beth, I hope I haven't pressured you unduly. You toddle off home. It'll keep till tomorrow afternoon when the Fubars come back."
His hand went to the on/off switch and hovered reluctantly over it. As he stooped, she saw with a pang the lines in his middle-aged face, obvious now the animation had left it, worse after a week of late nights working in the lab.
She felt mean.
"I guess an hour wouldn't really make any difference."
She took out her ear studs, removed her watch and lay down inside the machine.

The verdict

A second novel is always a tricky prospect. It’s difficult for an author to find the right balance between creating something familiar enough to appeal to readers of the first novel, while making it original enough that it gives readers something fresh and new.

Thankfully, with Replica Lexi Revellian has achieved just that. Replica retains all the fun and excitement of Remix while swapping rockstars and rocking horses for MI5 and sci-fi technology. Like Remix, it’s in a genre all of its own – a quirky fast-paced adventure story with a likeable, realistic female lead and a bad boy love interest, that never tries to take itself too seriously. It’s a kind of Bridget Jones meets The Bourne Identity.

It’s a real pageturner that you won’t want to put down. In my opinion, it wasn’t quite as good as Remix, but is still one of the best books of the year so far.

Review: The Girl with the Bomb Inside

Title: The Girl with the Bomb Inside
Author: Andy Conway
Nationality: British
Year: 2010
Publisher: Self-published
Length: Novella
Rating: 5/10
Summary: Lacking that special something

The outline

It’s 1981 and on a run-down council estate 15-year-old Tony is trying to come to terms with life, death and the news that his girlfriend is pregnant.

Sample

There's some good books in the school library, actually. No one reads them. I never look at them either, that'd be dead stupid. I just nick a few now and then. No one notices. The worst thing about nicking books from the school library is you have to take something really shite when your mates are there, otherwise they think you're a spastic. So, if you want a decent book you have to wait till there's no teacher and no kids either. This doesn't happen much, so you just have to risk it sometimes. It's safer when there's a teacher but no kids, to be honest. I've nicked a few like that. I could just borrow them like normal, but I don't want anyone to find out I think.

The verdict

There’s a very good concept at the heart of The Girl with the Bomb Inside, a novella that takes the form of the literary ramblings of a 15-year-old who plans suicide when he discovers his short-term girlfriend is pregnant. His quest to make sense of life, the false starts of his ‘novel’ and his attempts to separate fact and fiction are the perfect canvas for an author to really explore this unfortunate character. However, for me there was something missing, a spark, a flash of genius, something that would have made this story stand out from the crowd.

Swearing alone doesn’t make a story gritty. Neither do references to punk music. What it really needed more was more edge, more danger. I never cared too much what happened next and although the experimental idea at the centre of the novella was good, it wasn’t enough on its own to carry the story for me.

Review: House of Skin

Title: House of Skin
Author: Kiana Davenport
Nationality: American
Year: 2010
Publisher: Kiana Davenport
Length: 200+ pages
Rating: 8/10
Summary: Wonderfully evocative short fiction

The outline

Kiana Davenport’s award-winning short stories about life on the Pacific islands are brought together in a single volume for the first time.

Sample

They ran silently in single file, the bush so thick they moved by intuition. By morning they would be missed in their village, and by noon they would dwell in the mouths of elders as curses. Darkness hid a wall of matted spider webs that flung them backwards to the ground, and Kona wept because she was young and terrified. Eva comforted her as they lay watching flying-foxes like rags in brief ellipses through the trees.
"We are going to die," Kona said.
Eva shook her gently. "No! We are going to be famous." What she meant was that they were going to be remembered and hated.

The verdict

This is a wonderful collection of elegant literary short stories that seamlessly transported me to places I have never been. Davenport is Hawaiian and her stories focus on women’s searches for identity across the Pacific, revealing life stories that are exotic in their setting and customs while remaining familiar in their emotional resonance.

I enjoyed all the stories but my favourite was The Lipstick Tree, about a young woman’s quest to break away from her tribe in the forests of Papua New Guinea and become part of the westernised world. I would also strongly recommend, War Doll Hotel, about a Hawaiian woman’s battle with her past in New York, and Her Walking Stick, about a Vanuatuan woman’s revenge on her lazy daughter-in-law.

This is a very good introduction to Davenport’s work and I am keen to now read one of her novels.

Review: Coombe’s Wood

Title: Coombe’s Wood
Author: Lisa C. Hinsley
Nationality: British
Year: 2009
Publisher: Darkling Press
Length: 200+ pages
Rating: 6/10
Summary: Decent horror story, spoilt by silly elves

The outline

Izzy is a newcomer to the village of Cedham and quickly realises that everything is not what it seems. Faced with bleak warnings about the local woods and the possibility of her violent ex tracking her down, how long will it be before her life starts to fall apart all over again?

Sample

The glue behind the wallpaper was old, brittle, and the paper fell away with little effort. Their initial playfulness evaporated, as they found more scribbled pictures, of animals, humans and violent deaths, like modern cave drawings. Eyes were a theme; they were everywhere, sometimes as a frame to other sketches. Under the last strip, they found a tally that counted to nineteen.

The verdict

Coombe’s Wood is a highly readable and well-paced novel. Hinsley builds up a powerfully creepy atmosphere which makes the novel a real page turner as one scene moves effortlessly to the next.

However, this was also a book which failed to reach its full potential. The later stages in particular read like an early draft of a better novel. The main problem for me was the silly and unnecessary subplot about elves which took the sharp and dangerous edge off the story and brought a clumsy element into the ending. Without this and with a bit more attention paid to the more sinister elements, Coombe’s Wood could have been seriously disturbing horror thriller. However, the elves element made it difficult to take seriously, just as it was reaching its climax.

Adding to draft-like quality of much of the novel was a proliferation of typos. It really did need at least one more proof-reading session before it was publishing. It’s a shame as there really is a very good novel in here if only Hinsley had focussed her writing talent.

Review: Varjak Paw

Title: Varjak Paw
Author: SF Said
Nationality: British
Year: 2003
Publisher: David Fickling Books
Length: 200+ pages
Rating: 9/10
Summary: If only grown-up books were this good

The outline

Pedigree cat Varjak Paw is the only one of his family who dreams of the great outdoors but the Mesopotamian Blues have never left the safety of the Contessa’s house. You can probably guess what happens next.

Sample

Varjak could see for miles and miles. There were no walls or trees to block his view any more. Just open space, rippling out ahead of him, beneath him, above him. He was standing in space, and it was a long way to fall.
He peered down the inside of the wall. He could see nothing through the trees. The Gentleman's cats and the Elder Paw were hidden by the tangled net of branches. There was no way back. He was truly on his own.

The verdict

I certainly wasn’t expecting this fairly obscure and underrated children’s book to be anywhere near as good as it is. Ignore the clichéd and pedestrian opening chapters – from there onwards the narrative opens up into a breathtaking and powerful coming-of-age story, by turns charming, sinister and exhilarating.

Said knows how to keep a narrative moving effortlessly and it’s a shame that few adult novels manage to be so frightening or uplifting. There are strong female characters, dastardly villains and glorious set pieces and it’s no insult to say that parts of this novel reminded me of both Watership Down and Kafka on the Shore. An added bonus were the atmospheric illustrations by Dave McKean, who really understands how cats move.

Personally, it impressed me far more than Harry Potter or His Dark Materials and would be my personal pick for best children’s story of recent years.

Review: The Dresskeeper

Title: The Dresskeeper
Author: Mary Naylus
Nationality: British
Year: 2009
Publisher: Prospera Publishing
Length: 200+ pages
Rating: 7/10
Summary: Wickedly funny

The outline

Thoroughly modern teenager, Picky, is transported back in time to Restoration London when she tries on a old dress in her Gran’s attic. No, seriously.

Sample

'Get ya bets. Make a packet. Which hefty is heftier?'
There are three of us in the running but the odds on Edwina the wheelchair kid are so bad no one places a bet, so it is between me and this girl in Year 11, who brings a roast chicken, complete with chips and gravy, to school. Everyday.

The verdict

I loved the opening to The Dresskeeper so much that I bought the book before I’d even finished the first page of the Kindle sample. Despite its title and cover, which imply a fairly straight-laced historical romance, The Dresskeeper is for a large part a darkly comic look at such modern perils as dementia, body image and absent fathers. In fact, the scenes that are central to the plot where 21st century teenager, Picky, travels through time to the London of the 1600s rarely live up to the sheer wit and exuberance of the sections set in the modern day.

That’s not to say that the past sections don’t have their strong points. Naylus succeeds where many better-known authors have failed and makes the past a living and vibrant place. The past is also where the most moving and poignant sections of the novel take place.

However, despite being the funniest thing I’ve read in years, I wasn’t able to award The Dresskeeper top marks. The novel is littered with plot holes, anachronisms and implausibilities. Some leeway can be given because this is a comedy and a young-adult novel, but they were so numerous they did intrude on my enjoyment of the book. It’s easy to criticise Naylus for this, but her publishers should take some of the blame as they really should have pointed these out.

Review: The Girl on the Swing

Title: The Girl on the Swing
Author: Ali Cooper
Nationality: British
Year: 2010
Publisher: Standing Stone Press
Rating: 9/10
Summary: Beautiful and emotive

The outline

A middle-aged doctor who has lost her son and lost her job is caught up in visions of what she believes are her past lives. But are they true or is there a more rational explanation?

Sample

I am standing on the seafront, on the southwest corner where the road meets the sea, where the steep ramshackle streets meet the crumbly cliff. A cold, brisk, sea breeze burns my skin, stings my cheeks with salt. The sunlight is piercing, icy blue, glaring on the water; it lacks the yellow fullness of summer. The salty fishy smell of the harbour penetrates my nostrils. I wrinkle my nose. I am counting. One. Two. Four. Six. It is a game. I count some more as I stare out towards the streak of purple which lines the horizon. Ten. Twelve. Fifteen. Seventeen. Do I not know my numbers or am I deliberately cheating? Mostly the latter, I think. Suddenly and unexpectedly I reach one hundred. I call out. 'Coming! Ready or not!' My voice has a lilt, an accent that surprises me, as though it is not my own.

The verdict

This is an absolutely wonderful novel and Ali Cooper’s lyrical and elegant writing will stay with you long after you’ve closed the final page. The story expertly mixes modern day tragedy with past life drama which results in a poignant and moving novel. It addresses big themes such as our relationship with the past, relationships across the class divide and the affects of loss and it never fails to hit the mark with them.

Cooper is particularly adept at creating a believable and multi-faceted central character. Every word is written exactly as you would expect it to be by the central character, Julia, a middle-aged doctor who has long self-censored her feelings and ideas in order to conform with her domineering husband and the society that she moves in. I found it extremely refreshing to read a book where a middle-aged woman was the central character.

This is the kind of novel which, if it had been published by one of the big publishers, would have been nominated for a string of awards. That it hasn’t been is undoubtedly the fault of the award-givers and not Ali Cooper.